Review: Baldur's Gate 3

In case you've been living under a rock these past 3 years, the best RPG ever came out in 2023. I'm sure everybody has already seen most of the cutscenes on YouTube as well as combat videos; I'll try to focus on my own special circumstances, the story and small flavorful moments.

Alright, so for the first time in forever, I actually played a multiplayer game. A couple friends and I sank our teeth into the game during the 2024 New Year's holiday. The others already played through Act 1 and a bit of Act 2; so they basically let me do whatever I wanted, and they did all the looting random containers and acted as muscle. A monk and a cleric was all we needed in that regard. I made a sorcerer, based on what I knew of D&D 5E; I called her Triss Merigold. Now in D&D, the sorcerer is a damage powerhouse. Much to my chagrin, spells are severely nerfed in Baldur's Gate 3: ranges and radiuses are reduced, and most bosses are resistant to everything. The monk, on the other hand, could solo most things by Act 3. And so Triss transitioned from the fireball slinging destroyer that I envisioned, to a diplomancer. Not that I held back on the fireballs, but the diplomatic approach was actually a lot more effective than you'd think. More on that later. I also controlled the NPC party member, which was Astarion specced to assasin at first, but then I converted Shadowheart to life cleric and she was our healbot through most of the playthrough.

Just a bit more meta: we had some sort of early bird bonus, and I got the ability to cast Speak with the Dead at will. Or maybe this was for something we did? But there was definitely the shapeshifter helmet that added +1d4 to all skill checks while in another form. From then on, Triss would only appear as herself during campsite cinematics at night. We also decided to long rest as few times as possible, making the most of mind reading potions and speak with animals. Rest assured, I talked to every corpse, read everyone's mind, and talked to every squirrel and rat we encountered.

The animation got old after a while. Now if the corpse had regarded me with life in its eyes - that would have been a surprise!

Alright, into the story. We made our escape from the Nautiloid and descended into the forest to explore.  We obviously helped the settlement against the goblins and talked to ALL the inhabitants. I took some screenshots but I mostly enjoyed the roleplaying aspect, the fleshed out characters...

...and the quite stunning views.

Meeting famous denizens of the forgotten realms, including Volo and Elminster, was such a nice addition. Stupid bard, I just couldn't hate him.

And of course all the original characters introduced were well made, including my favorite, Raphael.

After exploring everything, retrieving all companions and such, we finally assaulted the goblin camp. My friends told me of all the possible angles of attack, including frontal, going up the rafters, etc. We did the diplomatic approach by talking ourselves inside, doing everything possible, then attacking the boss directly and fighting our way out after rescuing Halsin.

I talked my way into the heart of the erudite ogre, but never actually used their help. So in the end we just summoned them and killed them.

The plot thickened once discount Geralt started appearing in my dreams. Keeping it close to the role.

The underground part was also nice, with all the monsters we know and love.

Interlude: while I went for the Shadowheart romance (she swings both ways), everyone was just... horny. Lae'zel would have made an interesting (and sometimes cringeworthy) partner.

Our next stop through all the exploration and combat is this scene from Act 2. These people roleplaying doctors were really disturbing.

At least as disturbing as my diplomancer problem solving ability. I convinced the nurses to kill themselves, and then we got rid of the main guy quite easily.

The whole story about this family taking over the region and falling to Shar was fun to unravel.

In the end, the boss fight. How to make it easier? Once again, convince Ketheric to kill himself. Then we slogged through fighting the avatar. My friends said it was much easier than fighting both. Well, obviously.

The one thing that always disturbed me was the way nobody acknowledged our descent into illithid-ness. We all started looking like this, but nobody cared.

A good thing we were distracted by funny animals.

The circus outside Baldur's Gate seemed like a waste of time, although it was funny to be turned into a wheel of cheese. At least the dryad and the lovey-dovey scene with Shadowheart rewarded me for paying attention to her texts.

With the effect ruined by the mud mephit in love with the statue or whatever.

Beings of all manners inhabit the place.

Including this annoying elephant thing.

We did all the side quests... looked after vampires and whatnot.

Obviously visited the brothel. No cinematic, just darkness and imagination.

At least this bit was highly entertaining, I call it "dad jokes from the Forgotten Realms".

All in all, NPCs and dialogues are just... normal.

Some swear, some do not, and some do only in extreme circumstances.

*************

At this point summer came and we took a break, reconvening in the autumn.

Playing the previous games would have added some context for Minsc and other characters; but alas.

*************

And then, the happening and another 3 months' pause. Sigh. When we got back to it, I was no longer motivated to play; however, the game was still fine, and we slogged through. Defeated all the monsters and bosses and robots and whatnot.

Going into hell was definitely fun. 

I just loved the dialogue.

Once again, we did every possible side quest; except finding the escaped zombies and the pieces of the chopped up clown. We were just too tired to care.

So let's swing into the end game. Illithid invasion!

Gather all your allies, yadda yadda yadda.

Talking to everybody again paying dividends.

No bear sex, though.

And no scene with Mizora.

At this point I got my mojo back and we assaulted the elder brain. The visuals were fantastic.

The battle wasn't that tough; we just summoned LITERALLY EVERYBODY. And then... gravity.

We obviously took the heroic route, killed the brain and the Emperor (sad noises), let Orpheus sacrifice himself and got back our humanity. Kumbaya! There was another extended scene of campfire dialogue, which we went through.

...aaaaand finally done. 

Had all this been fresh in my mind, perhaps I could have detailed some of these adventures. At this point, I was just glad I was done. Another, evil playthrough? No thanks.

But if you haven't played it, do it.