With two previous participants not, erm, participating, and the third one having his character digested by a sentient blancmange, we started our next education programme with a brand new cast, including Sir Ni-no, an aspirant Knight of Ni; Gandalf, the enchanter; and Connor McFly, a churl breeding flies on his collection of plague dead bodies.
Sir Ni-no was approached by a knight of the Round Table, handing him a mission from King Arthur himself: finding out the fate of his nephew, Kevin, last seen heading towards the Happy Valley, the happiest place in medieval England, in search of a suitable bride. With no further prodding and information gathering, the PCs went on their merry way. This may or may not have been a bright idea.
On the road, they got lost; then, they met the Devil disguised as a shopkeeper. Connor exchanged some items, but whatever he bought turned into a dead chicken on first use. At least, something to pay the knight's manservant with. Finally, the participant characters ran into Prince Charming. Unable to resist hurting a noble, Connor sent in his choicest flies to attack. Prince Charming was soon defeated and ashamed, sent home to contemplate his failures.
Soon, the PCs arrived into Happy Valley, with their first encounter being a dragon. Gandalf and Connor watched, bemused, as Sir Ni-no charged the dragon, all alone, and beheaded it with a single swipe of his longersword.
Next, the PCs met the Princess Mitzi, skipping along a riverbank, kissing frogs. They approached her, resulting in some happy time[1] with Sir Ni-no. Gandalf tried some thaumaturgy, but the Hand of God reached down from the heavens and squashed him flat. A clergyman, wandering over from another set of the programme, took his place as Father Van Damme.
Finally, the PCs found a grove of Giggling Willows, but had no druidry expertise to handle them. The willows did provide a good vantage point though, and Sir Ni-no spotted the Happy Ending Cemetery not far. There, the PCs found several fresh graves containing recently deceased princes.
Armed with precious little knowledge regarding what was coming for them, the PCs entered the village at the center of the Valley. All the people acted extremely happily, under penalty of death. The PCs did not take the hint, and attracted the attention of the Joyous Guard, who did bonk them on the head with their smiley maces. Connor aroused the wrath of the peasantry, and the PCs ran away, into the castle.
They found King Otto and the rest of the court performing the final rights for Prince Kevin. I suppose the pieces of the puzzle were hard to put together, but fortunately Queen Syllabub took a liking to Sir Ni-no, and they met several times in the knight's pavilion, hastily erected[2] on the castle grounds. At the cost of Sir Ni-no's chastity, the PCs found out that King Otto is a grouch and he gives impossible tasks to the princes asking for his daughter's hand[3]. However, he is truly happy when playing his organ.
Further exploration of the castle yielded a guest prince called Walter, a sorry excuse for a young man, who would not ask for Mitzi's hand, after seeing the recent developments.
The PCs now put two and two together, and vowed to have the two youngsters married.
Connor McFly, possessing some skill in bardistry, hid in the king's organ, and played instead of him, hoping that a cheerful, nice melody, instead of the crap the king usually plays, would brighten his mood. At the same time, the remaining PCs advanced Prince Walter's proposal of marriage. The king was not too charmed, and suggested they resurrect and re-kill the ancient sun dragon buried on the moon... but reconsidered after a bonk on the head from his queen, and proposed them slaying the green dragon nearby.
The PCs thus went back to the scene of the dragon fight, sawed off the corpse's head, and presented it at court. They were invited to the wedding (but not encouraged to attend), and received a hefty reward from the queen.
Then, they did what most people do when they find themselves in Wales: leave Wales.[4]
[1] And oral sex.
[2] Hue hue.
[3] Such as Prince Kevin, who was supposed to jump from the top of the tallest tower armed only with his sword.
[4] A quote from the actual adventure.
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