Dungeon of the Mad Mage: Dying on the toilet

 Again face-to-face, and we played quite a lot, but still no pictures. Theater of mind!

We continued exploring the hallways, with me and my trusty zombie ahead.[1] We fell into a pit which then blew up, killing the zombie and knocking me out. Thankfully Selene brought me out on her broom[2] and Tari smeared a greater healing potion on me. Thanks girls! After this, we retreated to rest and I animated 3 skeletons from my bag.[3]

We decided to ride our brooms instead of walking, so on to some more broken rooms. One had a big black spot in the middle[4], one had stone beds and an alabaster dwarven statue[5], and another had more beds and a broken statue. Sigh.

Next up a dwarven public toilet and a guy taking a number two[6] with a huge sword propped to the wall. Selene called out his weiner[7] at which he attacked, I suggested he sit down but Selene decided to attack and kill him. Cue Fireball centered on self. Sigh. I made him think about dying on the toilet, which he tried to escape. He still died, and I stuck his corpse to the toilet. 

At least we made an interesting discovery, as the guy transformed into a frog creature upon death. I made an autopsy on this slaad, taking note of his resistances.

Next up, an auto repair shop with working levers. Nothing of interest.

A locked door was no match for my skills, and Tari walked through only to be ambushed by two invisible slaads. I quickly bandaged her up and summoned my trusty demon while the sorceresses magic missile'd both of them to death.[8]

The room had a magic portal, which we investigated[9] to no avail. An Identify spell said that the gate needs a 100gp gem to activate, so we cussed and left.

Finally, an abandoned dwarven sauna with a huge boiler in the middle. The fire elemental inside was yelling and knocking on the door. I told him to chill out and we opened the door, at which point he attacked. I banished the sucker.

We were quite disheartened at all this exploration and fighting with no tangible results, but while Selene was occupied looking inside the boiler[10], Tari discovered a hidden door. Inside the secret room, we found a dwarven king's statue decked out in gems, which we promptly looted, and went to the surface to sell. Cash baby!

[1] No Solid to tank. My face is my shield!

[2] Crit on the STR check to lift me up. Girl power!

[3] A steady supply is key here.

[4] Don't ask, no idea.

[5] I tried a line involving the beds again, but Szivem beat me with a broken arm of the statue. I think she likes me!

[6] Not the first time we see this in the dungeon.

[7] We can play this book's game.

[8] Eat force damage!

[9] Spitting into a gold dragon statue's mouth did nothing.

[10] I slapped her buttocks, to some positive response.